Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different - and How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men
二十年前,我們極少探究男孩和女孩的不同,因為擔心這暗示了性別的不平等。如今我們知道兩性確實存在許多差異,藉由了解這些意異同,就能讓男孩和女孩都能發揮長處,彌補短處,獲得最好的發展。對於父母而言,這一點確實相當重要。
胎兒的大腦在子宮裡發育的非常快,只要一、兩個月就可從幾個胞發展成自然界最複雜的結構。到了懷孕六個月時,胎兒已經具備許多由大腦控制的驚人能力,例如辨識聲音,對於動作有所反應,甚至當你截肚皮時他會回踢一下!藉由超音波還可以看到他的嘴巴在動,就像在子宮裡唱歌。
嬰兒的大腦在出生時只有部份成形,尺寸是發育完整的三分之一。大腦需要很長的時間才能發育完成,例如語言區,要等到孩子十三歲時才會發育成熟,正因如此,讓男孩在小學階段養成良好的閱讀習慣是非常重要的。
胎兒的大腦在生命初期就能看出明顯的性別差異,其一是男嬰的大腦發育比女嬰慢,其二是男嬰左右腦的連結比較差。
所有動物的大腦都分為左右兩邊。對於蜥蝪和鳥類這些低等動物而言,左右腦結構完全相同,所以當頭部受到撞擊導致半邊大腦失去功能時,另外半邊仍然可接手處理。但是人類要思考的事比低等動物多太多了!左右腦各有專屬的任務, 一邊掌管語言和邏輯思考,另一邊負責動作、情緒及空間感,兩邊的對話藉由胼胝體(Callosum)的一大叢神經維束來傳遞。男孩的胼胝體比例上比較小,所以左右腦的之間連結比較少。
男孩傾向於只用半邊大腦處理某些特定問題,例如拼字測驗或填字遊戲,女孩則是左右腦並用。這種情況可以由 MRI(Magnetic Resonance Imaging)的大腦掃瞄技術清楚看見:女孩的大腦到處都是「發亮的燈」,男孩則傾向於集中在半邊大腦的某個部分。
嬰兒的大腦在出生前後的成長,就像是一盆無異間被放在太陽下的小荳芽,大腦細胞不停地變長,並且產生新的連結。所以人類嬰兒左腦皮層的發育都比右腦慢,而男嬰又更慢了。因為男孩血液中的睪丸酮會減緩生長速度,女孩血液中的雌激素則會刺激腦細胞快速成長。
然而男孩右腦的內部連結比較發達,與左腦的連結則較差。這就是男孩數學比較好的原因之一。因為數學主要是右腦的活動;此外,他們也喜歡拆解機械,弄得到處都是零件。
即使如此,我們仍然必須謹慎一點,不要過度濫用這些結論, 因為有時父母的期望, 練習和社會壓力影響一個人的技能。「練習」對於大腦永久性的連結顯然有所幫助,因此鼓勵和教導確實會影響日後的大腦成形和能力。
不論造成影響的因素是荷爾蒙或環境, 男女大腦確實存在著差異。由於女性左右腦的連結較佳,所以中風之後比男性復元得更快、更完全,因為她們可以活化其他通往另外半邊大腦的連結,以執行受損部分所負責的工作。同樣地,有學習障礙的女孩在經過指導後,進步速度也較快,男孩則比較容易出現各種因出生時腦部受損而引發的問題。這或許說明了為什麼有學習困難、自閉症以及其他失調的男孩都比較多。
在此必須特別說明一件很重要的事:「男孩不一樣」這句話很容易變成「他們有缺陷」、「他們就是這樣」的藉口。相同的概括也曾套在女孩身上,例如「女生很難學好自然科學或工程方面的知識」、「女生太情緒化」等等。所以,以下幾點請銘記於心:
•對大多數人來說,這些差異是很微小的
•這些差異只是一種傾向
•這些差異不適用於個人
•最重要的是,我們可以幫助男孩克服這些差異
Steve Biddulph ~~
Steve Biddulph (born Saltburn, England 1953) is an Australian author, activist and psychologist who has written a number of influential bestselling books; and lectures worldwide on parenting, and boys' education. His books argue for a more affectionate and connected form of parenting, and the importance of role models in children's lives. They acknowledge gender differences but do not see these as immutable. His effect on schooling has been to increase the number of parents delaying school-starting, especially with boys, and the increase in single sex classes in co-educational schools, particularly in the early puberty stage, around age 12-15.
Recently he has been outspoken about the premature sexualization of girls through media exposure, impacting on the mental health of girls.
He is one of a group of child development specialists in the UK and elsewhere who argued successfully for the introduction of parental leave in that country, and cautioned on the dangers of institutional daycare for the under twos.
He also campaigned on Australia's mistreatment of refugee parents and children under the Howard Government, and led and funded a five year project to create a permanent national memorial to the SIEV X sinking, on the lakeshore in Canberra. This memorial, involving over a thousand student and community artists, was dedicated in October 2007.
With his wife and co-author Shaaron Biddulph he sponsors a number of activist organizations, and environmental causes. Biddulph was voted Australian Father of the Year in 2000 for his work encouraging the active role of fathers.[1] He lives in Tasmania, Australia.
Steve Biddulph was appointed Adjunct Professor in the School of Psychology and Counselling, Cairnmillar Institute, Melbourne, in March 2011.
He is National Ambassador for Playgroups Australia, and Patron of the Australian Children's Media Council.