How to spot signs of bullying
There is no single way to tell if a child is being bullied. The way a child reacts will depend on how bad the bullying is, as well as the child’s personality. Apart from obvious physical signs of bullying, the things to look for are changes in your child’s social or emotional behaviour.
Things to look out for include:
• physical signs such as bruises, cuts and scratches, torn clothes, poor sleeping, bedwetting, and frequent requests for money
• changes related to school or preschool, such as not wanting to go, staying close to teachers during breaks, having difficulty asking or answering questions in class, not taking part in activities, sitting alone, and schoolwork and homework deteriorating suddenly
• emotional clues such as anxiety, nervousness, distress, unhappiness, depression or tears, withdrawal, secretiveness, sudden changes in behaviour, being quick to anger, and unhappiness at the end of weekends and holidays
• other signs such as your child talking about being teased, taunted, ridiculed, degraded, threatened, dominated, made fun of, or laughed at. Your child might be excluded at lunch and recess, lose contact with classmates after school, or be chosen last for teams and games.
Talking to your child about bullying
One in five children keeps bullying a secret from people around them, so it can be hard to know for sure if your child is being bullied. Try some of the following conversation starters if you suspect that your child is being bullied.
Keep the conversation relaxed and friendly, and try not to bombard your child with questions. Children are less likely to open up to you if they feel uncomfortable.
Younger children (4-6 years of age)
• What did you do at school/preschool today?
• Did you do anything you liked? Did you do anything you didn’t like?
• Who did you play with?
• What sort of games did you play? Did you enjoy them?
• Would you have liked to play different games with someone else?
• Are you looking forward to going to school tomorrow?
Older children (7-8 and up)
• What did you do at lunchtime today?
• Is there anyone you would like to invite home?
• Are there any classes at school you really like, or don’t like?
• Is there anyone at school you don’t like? Why?
• Are you looking forward to going to school tomorrow?