培養小孩的責任感 -- 教孩子自我管理
身為父母親，我們能有幾年的時間為孩子預備，在重視責任感與成熟抉擇的世界生存？單這個問題就可能足以粉碎我們當父母的勇氣了！ 那麼，我們該怎麼做呢？是時時刻刻繞著孩子轉，確保他們不會犯錯？還是訓練他們，讓他們在孤獨無助時能記得重要的原則？
根據本書的作者--美國頂尖教育顧問JimFay及兒童心理學家Dr.FosterCline的觀點，想要確保孩子成功的父母往往會教出不成功的小孩，因為責任感就像所有的事情一樣，必須透過實踐才得以學習。
看看Sylvia的例子：
Sylvia有八個小孩，每次我拜訪她家時，都看到她拿錢給孩子。有一次我問她：「為什麼你一直在給錢？」
「他們在學習了解金融世界，所以我貸款給孩子」Sylvia一邊拿50分錢給一個小男孩。一邊說道：「我的貸款就像銀行的貸款一樣，有到期日、本票，以及擔保品。喔！不久前我才剛沒收了一台價值29美元的錄音機。」
「孩子一定很難過，」我說。
「不盡然，因為那只是份禮物。」Sylvia回答道：「現在我十歲大的兒子已經懂得償還貸款的責任；他完全了解本票及擔保品，甚至是沒收的意義，而這些只花了他一台29美元錄音機的代價。」
「鄰居的小孩，」Sylvia繼續說道：「在銀行沒收他價值4900美元的汽車時，也學會了這件事。他已經26歲，他的父母在他年輕時對他保護過度，而我的兒子贏他16年。」
如果你想教出自信、積極，為真實世界做好準備的小孩，就要善加利用這套雙贏的教養策略，讓孩子可以從解決自己問題的過程中理解責任感與人生的邏輯，而你可以在毋須訴諸發怒、威脅、嘮叨，或令人精疲力盡的權力爭奪下，樹立健康的掌控。 以愛與邏輯為教養理念的父母，願意給小孩一項任務並讓他們自己做抉擇，然後讓小孩嘗到失敗的經驗，把握失敗代價還小的時機，讓他們學到寶貴的教訓。
This parenting book shows you how to raise self-confident, motivated children who are ready for the real world. Learn how to parent effectively while teaching your children responsibility and growing their character. Establish healthy control through easy-to-implement steps without anger, threats, nagging, or power struggles.
Psychiatrist Cline and educator Fay's "Love and Logic" parenting method advocates raising responsible children through practice. "Helicopter" parents hover around their children while "drill sergeant" parents give orders to theirs, they claim. Neither of these styles permits children to learn how to make choices and learn from the consequences. The result is that as early as adolescence these children too often make bad decisions.
In the context of a healthy, loving relationship, "Love and Logic" parents teach their children responsibility and the logic of life by solving their own problems, providing skills for coping in the real world. After laying out the principles of "Love and Logic," the authors provide "parenting pearls," which are strategies for applying the method to actual situations such as back-seat battles in the car, homework, and keeping bedrooms clean.
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,094 in Books
#12 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships
#21 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting
About the Author: Foster Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay
Dr. Cline is an internationally recognized physician and adult and child psychiatrist who has successfully parented four children. He is a consultant to mental health organizations, school systems, and business and parent groups across North America. He specializes in working with difficult children and is founder of Evergreen Consultants in Evergreen, Colorado.
Jim Fay has over 30 years of experience in education, serving in public, private, and parochial schools in a variety of roles, including elementary education, art and music teacher, school principal, and administrator. He has been consulting and speaking about parenting and education for more than 30 years, founding School Consultant Services, the sister company to the Cline-Fay Institute, in 1977.